Top Reasons Eminem's Wife Filed for Divorce



--That comment about Elton being "twice the woman" she ever was.

--Caught Eminem fantasizing about killing other women.



--Sick of hiding her love for the Insane Clown Posse.



--Sure, he talks and raps like a black man, but when he takes down his pants...



--Would rather end up like Nicole Kidman than Nicole SIMPSON.



--Overheard 5-year-old daughter shouting, "Faggot!" while watching "Mr. Rogers".



--Recently overtaken by a strange and unfamiliar compulsion to live past the age of 35.



--I mean come on, people. . . the dude LOST TO STEELY DAN!!!



--Thanks to a recent surgery, her head's no longer implanted deep within her own rectum.



...And The Top Reason Eminem's Wife Filed For Divorce. . .



--Sick of dating a rich, famous, abusive bastard. Would like to try a poor, unknown abusive bastard for a change.