How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden?

Hide the ball, it drives them nuts!



What's tennis players favourite city?

Volley wood!



How does a physicist exercise?

By pumping ion!



Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?

Because education pays off in the long run!



What is a runner's favourite subject in school?

Jog-raphy!



What does Paul Inces mum make for Christmas?

Ince pies!



What does a footballer and a magician have in common?

Both do hat tricks!



Which football team loves ice-cream?

Aston Vanilla!