What's the chilliest ground in the premiership?

Cold Trafford!



How did the footbal pitch end up as triangle?

Somebody took a corner!



Why didn't the dog want to play football?

It was a boxer!



What did they call Dracula when he won the league?

The champire!



Which England player keeps up the fuel supply?

Paul gas coin!



Manager: I'll give you fifty pounds a week to start with and a hundred pounds a week in a year's time?

Young player: OK, I'll come back in a year's time!



Manager: Twenty teams in the league and you lot finish bottom?

Captain: Well, it could have been worse.

Manager: How?

Captain: There could have been more teams in the league!