Why should you be careful playing against a team of big cats?

They might be cheetahs!



Manager: Our new midfielder cost ten million. I call him our wonder player

Fan: Why's that?

Manager: Everytime he plays I wonder why I bothered to buy him!



Why do artists never when they play football?

They keep drawing!



Why do managers bring suitcases along to away games?

So that they can pack the defence!



Where do old bowling balls end up?

In the gutter!



Manager: I thought I told you to lose weight. What happened to your three week diet?

Player: I finished it in three days!



What part of a football pitch smells nicest?

The scenter spot!