Q: What kind of ghosts haunt chemistry faculties?
A: Methylated Spirits!


Q: How many atoms in a guacamole?
A:Avocado's number.


Q: What do chemists use to make guacomole?
A: Avogadros.


Free radicals have revolutionized chemistry.


These were printed on bumper stickers and given out at an American Chemical Society meeting 10 or 12 years ago: It takes alkynes to make a world.


"Take plenty of the dark purple solution", Tom offered, managnimously.


"This old pipe is rusty", said Tom, ironically.