Q: How many physical chemists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but he'll change it three times, plot a straight line through the data, and then extrapolate to zero concentration.


"A super-saturated solution is one that holds more than it can hold."


Isaac Asimov said that if you want to find a chemist, ask him/her to discuss the following words: 1) mole 2) unionized. As he so eloquently put it, "If he starts talking about furry animals and organized labor, keep walking."


Make it myself? But I'm a physical organic chemist!


Definition: (Fe)male: Male with iron added, for greater strength, ductility, and magnetisim.


Acid is base.


Q: Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
A: They're cheaper than day rates.


"Scale keeps forming inside the kettle", complained Tom, recalcitrantly.