Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.



He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an



E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 on FM



dial in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience



contest. Needless to say, she won.











Hi Sue, !







Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had



a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work,



so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's



not so bad after all. Before I can tell you what happened to me, I



first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.















As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit



to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite



cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel



powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks



the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It



then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to



the air hose.







Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times



with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start



working, is! take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit.



This floo ds my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.







Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to



itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.



Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out



from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had



happened. The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped



it into my suit.







Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't



stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate.







When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding



the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor



of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due



to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing



hysterically.







Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three !



agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes



before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.







When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass



helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter



running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it



on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.







The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because



my butt was swollen shut.







So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much



worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt.







Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job".