You might be a reneck if...


You don't think the Ewoks are primitive. You think an AT-AT looks like a giant cow. You don't think Jabba's pig guards have a hygiene problem. The Rancor monster refused to eat you.


You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren't.


You think the stock market has a fence around it.


Your stereo speakers used to belong to the Moonlight Drive-in Theater.


Your boat has not left the drive-way in 15 years.


Chiggers are included on your list of top 5 hygiene concerns.


You burn your yard rather than mow it.


You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen.


Your entire family has ever sat around waiting for a call from the Governor to spare a loved one.


You have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.