You might be a reneck if...


You can chew your own toenails.


You've ever used an inner-tube patch on your jeans.


You want the opening day of deer hunting season to be declared a national holiday.


Someone knocks on your front door and your back door rattles.


You let goldenrod grow in your yard because it looks so pretty.


You've ever absent-mindedly nibbled on your live bait . . . and didn't spit it out.


Your best Sunday clothes include your John Deere baseball cap.


You go to a wedding or any formal party and ask someone to pull your finger.


Your friend tells you he went online last night, and you think he took a drunk driving test.


Your mama has more tattoos than you do.