A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed

was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope

propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed,

"Dad".



With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter

with trembling hands:



Dear Dad,



It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to

elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with

mom and you.



I've been finding real passion with Mariel and she is so nice-even

with all her piercing, tattoos, and her tight Motorcycle clothes. But

it's not only the passion dad, she's pregnant and Mariel said that we

will be very happy.



Even though you don't care for her as she is so much older than I, she

already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for

the whole winter. She wants to have many more children with me and

that's now one of my dreams too.



Mariel taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll

be growing it for us and trading it with her friends for all the

cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science

will find a cure for AIDS so Mariel can get better; she sure deserves

it!!



Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of

myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know

your grandchildren.



Your son,



Tom



PS: Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house.

I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than

my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when

it is safe for me to come home.