The following are real conversations Directory Enquiries operators had with callers, as revealed in interviews with staff at the Cardiff DE Centre.


Caller : I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please. Operator : I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct? Caller : Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the B fell off.


* * *


Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven. Operator : Woven? Are you sure? Caller : Yes. That's what it says on the label - Woven in Scotland.


* * *


Caller : I'd like the RSPCA please.


Operator : Where are you calling from?


Caller : The living room


* * *


Caller : The water board please.


Operator : Which department?


Caller : Tap water.


* * *


Operator : How are you spelling that?


Caller : With letters.


* * *


Caller : I'd like the number for a reverend in Cardiff, please.


Operator : Do you have his name?


Caller : No, but he has a dog named Ben.


* * *


Caller : The Union of Shopkeepers and Alligators please.


Operator : You mean the Amalgamated Union of Shopkeepers?


* * *


On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told the worried operator: "I haven't got a pen so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on.