My other wife is beautiful.


My wife doesn't care what I do away from home, as long as I don't enjoy it.


My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them.


My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him!


My wife says if I go fishing one more time she's going to leave me. Gosh, I'm going to miss her.


My wife submits and I obey; she always lets me have her way.


Never be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife. -- PJ O'Rourke


No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman. -- Honore de Balzac


Nothing says loving like marrying your cousin! -- Al Bundy


I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.