These are supposedly actual quotes taken from around the world.


Newsreader, BBC Radio 4: "Working mothers are the backbone of the third half of the economy."


Glenda Jackson, Channel 4 TV: "There's nothing athletes like - or indeed hate - more than hanging around like this." - David Coleman, BBC 1 TV


"Not being in the Rumbelows Cup for those teams won't mean a row of beans, 'cos that's only small potatoes." - Ian St John, ITV


"Oldham are leading 1-0, a well deserved victory at this stage of the game." - Tommy Docherty, Picadilly Radio


Brian Johnson, BBC Radio 3: "We don't appear to have Jim Fish on the line at the moment."


"Are there any more great swimmers in the pipeline?" - Cliff Morgan, BBC Radio 4


"Andre Vandapole has four silver medals in cyclocross, and none of them gold." - Phil Liggott, Channel 4 TV


"Well, I shall remember that catch for many a dying day."