Q: Did you hear about the Irish abortion clinic?

A: It has a 12 month waiting list.



Q: What's long & green & has a low I.Q.?

A: A St. Patrick's Day Parade



Q: Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?

A: Regular rocks are too heavy.



Q: Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun?

A: Because they're always a little short.



Q: How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?

A: He's Dublin over with laughter!



Q: Why did St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?

A: He couldn't afford plane fare.



Q: What's Irish and stays out all night?

A: Patty O'furniture!



Q: How did the Irish Jig get started?

A: Too much to drink and not enough restrooms!