Computer Lingo Guide


Log on - Adding a log to your wood stove


Log off - Don't add a log to your wood stove


Monitor - Keep an eye on the wood stove


Megahertz - When a big log drops on your bare foot in the morning


Floppy disk - What you get from piling too much wood into your wood stove


Ram - The hydraulic machine that makes the woodsplitter work


Drive - Getting home during most of the winter to your wood stove


Hard drive - Trying to get home during a heavy snow storm


Prompt - What you wish the mail was during the snow season


Enter - Come on in


Windows - What you must shut when the temperature hits 10 below


Screen - What is a must during black fly season


Chip - What you munch during a football games


Microchip - What's left in the bag when the normal chips are gone


Modem - What you did to your fields last July


Dot Matrix - Eino Matrix's wife


Laptop - Where the grandkids sit


Keyboard - Where you're supposed to put the keys so the wife can find them


Software - Plastic picnic utensils


Mouse - What leaves those little turds in the cupboard


Mainframe - The part of the house that holds up the roof


Port - Where the commercial fishing boats dock


Random Access Memory - When you can't remember how much you spent on the new deer rifle when wife asks about it






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