Q: Diner: I can't eat this chicken. Call the manager.

A: Waiter: It's no use. He can't eat it either.



Q: Which side of a chicken has the most feathers?

A: The outside.



Q: What do you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede?

A: A walkie-talkie, of course.



Q: Have you heard of that disease that you get from kissing birds?

A: Chirpes. It's one of those canarial diseases. I hear it's untweetable.



Q: Why don't they play poker in the jungle?

A: Too many cheetahs.



Q: What is the difference between a cat and a comma?

A: One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.



Q: Where do dogs go when they lose their tails?

A: To the retail store.



Q: What kind of dog tells time?

A: A watch dog.